i feel.... once again....

i feel it again... what do i mean?? i mean to feel the world begining and ending in one smile, to feel the chills on every thing i do... yeah u got it thats it. its been a long time, it has been long enough for me to almost believe i was incapable of feeling it again.
 i've told you more than once that i was broken...
i know you never believed it, i know i had just to wait. i feel vulnerable for the very first time in many years, and i should be scared but yet i am as happy as i ever was. i no longer live in the feelings of the past i live in the present and hoping that the future will get only better.
i look in to that smile and a conseguent deep breath stops me from saying things that i want to say.... 
.....bingo!! that is it...
why i stop myself well easy i don't want this to end.... that's why!!
i can't believe that my heart feels like this,.... yes i do like it..... of course i do, and if i define my deep breaths i might just spoil the moment, and god only knows i don't want that to happen.
yes genius i am talking about a girl...
not just any girl, not only looks make her idyllic, yes she is beautiful, yes she makes me smile every time i look in her green/brown eyes..... what makes her so special is that she like me for who i am and not for who she wants me to be.
...will it last u ask?...
well that is a very stupid question my friend.... i don't know if it will, i don't know if i will even ever get to say what my deep breaths are hiding, but what i know.... how ever it goes she is in my heart and u know better than anyone that is a season ticket for the whole duration of my life.... she might not be there for ever but i know i will look in that seat, no matter if she is there or not, with a grin on my face for the rest of my life.
....u want me to define exactly what i feel??...
well i really do not believe that there are words to describe my ffelings, i do not believe that a word has been coined for this.
... yes i know i could use that one!!!....
but its way more than that..... i know its crazy its too early to feel this.... but i can't controll my brain or my heart, i just go with it and enjoy every moment with her, and hope it never ends, cause i can't ever get enough of her.

i'm leaving in a fiction novel, i'm living the most surreal emotions, not only thundering emotions at every kiss, not only butterflies in my stomac at every smile.... were talking of incredible feelings by only looking at her, were talking of indescribable feelings when i rap her in my arms, were talking of apotheosis in every kiss and supreme perfection at every time my eyes find her's. will it be love? will it be infatuation? will it be a dream? let it be whatever you like..... i just want all this to never end..... therefore my angel that from up there you watch me and protect me, help me from keeping this divinity on my side, because now i am inevitably addicted of her presence in my life.... and if all this is a dream, let me sleep till the end because i do not want to let this all go.